Some people claim to care, but their actions tell a different story. They may say all the right things, but their behavior speaks louder. They focus solely on their own needs, rarely go out of their way for others, and think nothing of taking advantage of someone — and that’s just the beginning. While they may not intend to hurt or offend others, their actions often have that effect. In short, if they care, they have a funny way of showing it.
While you may be thinking, “That doesn’t sound like me,” it’s still worth reflecting — especially if your relationships matter to you. If you treat some people thoughtlessly, you might be doing the same to others. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward change.
Actions Speak Louder than Slogans
When reflecting on your behavior, ask yourself: Do I make people feel they’re a priority, or do I treat them as an afterthought? Do I take the time to make them feel special, or assume they already know? Do I express gratitude for all they do, or take them for granted?
This isn’t just about personal relationships — it applies to business as well. Despite signs declaring, “Customers come first,” employees don’t always uphold that principle. Again, ask yourself: Do we prioritize company convenience over how we treat customers? Do we mistreat employees, knowing they might take out their frustration on customers? Do we push immediate sales at the expense of long-term relationships — showing that profits take precedence over everything else?
Let Your Actions Do the Talking
Words express what’s on your mind, but your actions reveal what’s in your heart. What do the following actions say about you?
From a personal standpoint, do you:
- Show you care every day, or only on special occasions?
- Offer help when it’s needed most, or avoid getting involved?
- Believe mistreatment can always be fixed with an apology?
- Make an effort to be present in others’ lives, or try to buy their affection?
- Pull your weight, or expect others to carry the load?
- Accept friends as they are, or try to change them?
- Build win-win relationships, or strive for winner takes all?
- Act like a considerate guest, or behave as if you own the place?
- Volunteer to help and do your part, or wait to be asked?
- Seek balance in relationships, or take advantage of others’ good nature?
- Change your behavior after a wrongdoing, or offer a meaningless apology?
- Put thought into gifts and heartfelt notes, or treat them as obligations?
- Acknowledge others’ efforts, or overlook them because you’re preoccupied?
- Celebrate others’ victories, or envy their success?
- Address others’ needs, or focus only on your own?
From a business standpoint, do you:
- Treat prospects with care before the sale, then abandon them afterward?
- Make customers feel like you’re doing them a favor by serving them?
- Go the extra mile for customers, or wait for complaints before acting?
- Nickel-and-dime customers with hidden fees to boost profits?
- Give small customers the same attention as large ones?
- Know your long-time customers’ preferences, or treat them like first-time buyers?
- Fully disclose information, or bury key details in the fine print?
- Honor promises, or break commitments regularly?
- Cancel meetings for “more important” customers?
- Stand by your products, or stop supporting them after the sale?
- Make it easy for customers to resolve issues, or leave them to fend for themselves?
- Disappoint customers, then refuse to apologize?
- Fail to respond to customers in a timely manner?
- Demand customer loyalty without offering it in return?
- Take loyal customers for granted?
Give of Yourself Rather than Get for Yourself
Most of these issues boil down to greed. If you believe this attitude will benefit you, you’re sadly mistaken.
To earn the trust of your friends and the loyalty of your customers, shift your focus from what you can gain to what you can give. You’ll be surprised at how your actions are reciprocated. In the end, the more you focus on others, the more they’ll focus on you — that’s a win-win relationship. The more you give, the more you get.
Check out Frank’s latest book, BECOME: Unleash the Power of Moral Character and Be Proud of the Life You Choose
Do You Have a Funny Way of Showing that You Care?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Additional Reading:
23 Ways to Spot a Hypocrite
It’s Better Done Than Said
Are You Enthusiastic for the Success of Others?
6 Ways to Spot All Talk, No Action
Broken Promises, Broken Commitments
23 Ways to Disappoint People
Are You Selfless or Selfish?
If you like this article, subscribe to our blog so that you don’t miss a single post. Get future posts by RSS feed, email or Facebook. It’s FREE.
Follow me:
Facebook
LinkedIn
X
Pinterest and
Instagram
Yesterday, a co-worker said I was “too nice”. I work in a psychiatry office and I treat people as I hope they would treat me or my family.
I’m middle aged and I have lived life and I have experienced much heartache within my life, especially seeing how life is unfair in both small and big ways.
I love Frank’s articles, especially for those who may not have a faith they follow.
These articles, especially this one is aimed at treating others how you would want to be treated both personally and professionally.
Sadly, our culture puts pressure on us in many facets and we have to choose to do the right thing or not.
We are missing the mark! That’s why Frank is here. He is here to help us learn to be better loving people in all ways.
My hope is that you take time to reflect on yourself and how you can do better and forgive yourself if you’ve done wrong and try to do things right next time.
Keep on trying and never give up. That’s all we can do!
Thank you to Frank and his staff for the amazing work they do to bring love and happiness to all our lives.
Hi Ann,
Your message truly touched me. Thank you.
What you shared about being called “too nice” says a lot about your character, and even more about the world we’re navigating. Kindness isn’t weakness — it underscores your values. And in your line of work, it’s also a gift that ripples far beyond what most people ever see.
I’m humbled that my writing resonated with you, especially knowing the depth of life you’ve lived and the heartache you’ve endured. Your compassion shines through every word, and I imagine it’s that same light you bring to the people you serve every day.
You’re absolutely right — our culture does pull us in conflicting directions. But people like you remind the rest of us that choosing to do what’s right, even when it’s hard, is still the better way.
Thank you for your encouragement, your vulnerability, and your example. Keep being “too nice.” The world needs more of that.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Frank, your article “If You Care, You Have a Funny Way of Showing It” is a compelling reminder that our actions often speak louder than our words. The introspective questions you pose challenge us to reflect on how we treat others in both personal and professional settings. It’s easy to claim we care, but without consistent, thoughtful actions, those claims can ring hollow. Your emphasis on aligning behavior with values resonates deeply, especially in today’s fast-paced world where genuine connection is more important than ever. Thank you for encouraging us to not only speak of care but to actively demonstrate it in our daily lives.
Thank you, Jaime.
I truly appreciate your thoughtful message. I’m glad the piece resonated with you. You captured the heart of it perfectly — care without consistent, meaningful action can feel empty, no matter how well-intentioned the words. In a world moving at warp speed, taking the time to show up with sincerity and purpose makes all the difference. I’m grateful it sparked reflection, and even more so that you took the time to share your thoughts.
Best,
Frank